On Unreasonable Expectations

Someone asked me, “Who hurt you?” I replied, “My own expectations.”

I can’t find an attribution for this quote, so if anyone knows where it originated, please pass it along to me to include, but it resonates with me deeper than the usual pithy self-help meme.

Living without expectations, as other quotes over the years have suggested, certainly makes for what they call a happier life. I struggle, however, with the advice that we should just not expect anything from ourselves or anyone else.

Some expectations are unreasonable. You meet someone for the first time, and you think they will be your world. That’s probably unreasonable. You should have expectations for their behavior — that they will treat you with respect and kindness, that they will not be a serial killer— but you probably shouldn’t make expectations regarding their feelings for you or their commitment to you on first meeting. We don’t live in a novel or romantic comedy. However, if they do turn out the be a serial killer, you…